Thoughts on Slappy and the Stinkers

 

Courtesy TriStar Pictures/via Giphy

"I'm bein' attacked by the Seven Dwarfs here."

Some of my favorite childhood memories involve watching movies with my parents. A handful of those experiences are ones I'll treasure, like when Mom took all of us kids to a packed theater to see an afternoon showing of The Lion King, or when Mom and I entered a contest to win free tickets to A Very Brady Sequel (we lost, but still went anyway), or when Dad took us to see the Star Wars re-release. Of course, not all of those shared movies are worth remembering. Over the years, my poor parents saw a lot of ostensibly family-friendly junk in theaters and on TV. I suspect that we only missed Slappy and the Stinkers when it came out because it barely had a theatrical release and we were all a bit snobby about supposed direct to video stuff.

The kids may be called the Stinkers, and Witz (Carl Michael Lindner) does barf on camera, but the farts and shits that get the most attention come from Slappy the sea lion. Seemingly unhappy at the aquarium, Slappy is noticed by the Stinkers (Lindner, Joseph Ashton, Gary LeRoi Gray, Scarlett Pomers and Travis Tedford), summer students who decide to return him to the ocean. Slappy's also sought by nearly-blind Boccoli (Sam McMurray), who wants to sell him to the circus. About an hour into Slappy, the kids discover that he doesn't pine for life out in the open (and the risk of getting eaten by a whale), so they decide to return him to the aquarium. But not before continuing to terrorize their flamingly gay principal, Mr. Brinway (B.D. Wong).

By the time Brinway's had enough and expels the little brats*, he's had his red briefs exposed, gotten a hole torn into the body of his new Jaguar, been ejected from his office chair out a second story window, bit in the nuts and punched by a man with dwarfism, fallen into an octopus tank and gotten it stuck to his face, gotten the water in his hot tub cooled and salted to try replicating Slappy's habitat, had $155.45 of raw fish and french fries charged to him, slipped on his wet floor, gotten locked out of his house in only a Speedo** and had his carnival ruined by groundskeeper Roy (Bronson Pinchot), Boccoli and the kids' pursuit of Slappy. A little later, he's bopped in the head by a projectile potato. The carnival, by the way, appeared to be Brinway's only concession to what kids would enjoy. I'm guessing singing H.M.S. Pinafore isn't on that list.

*He was going to do it earlier, but was talked out of it by apparent second-in-command Harriet (Jennifer Coolidge, doing the same "Swedish meets deaf" voice she'd later do for A Mighty Wind and 2 Broke Girls). Her argument is that it would look bad to bounce scholarship students, which implies the Stinkers attend the Dartmoor Academy year-round. The existing movie has stakes too low to matter. Who cares if the Stinkers are kicked out of day camp? And while I'm wondering, why did Brinway not name his school after himself?

**FANSERVICE JUNCTION! "(It's) a children's movie curiously preoccupied with showing B.D. Wong in various states of undress," Perfect Strangers Reviewed wrote.

Directed by Barnet Kellman, Slappy is by Robert Wolterstoff and Mike Scott. The writers at least had the decency for the Stinkers to admit how similar their initial mission is to what happened in Free Willy. Alas, no acknowledgments are given for Slappy's substantial debt to Dennis the Menace, Caddyshack (Slappy's antics cause Roy to think there's a giant gopher on the loose, for pete's sake!) and The Little Rascals. There's also a running gag of Domino (Gray) talking about movies ranging from Apollo 13 to Spartacus to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. With all of that, plus the fact that Tedford and Ashton were both in Rascals, I started wondering how much deja vu could one movie induce.

Wong, according to IMDB, does not regret making Slappy. He and Pinchot actually got good notices from Variety, recognizing the "inspired" casting of "seasoned performers ... stretching their repertoires in a pair of unlikely parts that call for extreme physical comedy." It just makes you wish that the duo, plus McMurray and Coolidge, were in a project worthy of their commitment.

"... We're just a bunch of losers."

"No, now that is enough of that kind of talk. You guys are Stinkers and that means something around here." *Stirring music plays as the American flag outside Roy's trailer unfurls*

"You are all special because of who you are. And who you are is what makes you special, because that's all you are ... is special! ... There. ... Now how do you feel?"

"Lousy."

*The flag goes back to normal and the music stops*

"Well. Sometimes it works and sometimes it don't."

Not Recommended.

Thoughts:

-- "Alan, what did you have for lunch? It smells like a fish fry in here."

-- Box Office: Grossing nearly $81,000 on a budget of at least $8 million, this opened at No. 18 with a $34,500 gross on 60 screens nationwide. It's actually not included on Box Office Mojo's ranking of 1998's releases, presumably coming in at No. 201 for the year.

-- Critic's Corner: "It's not even fun for the kids," Elaine Richardson wrote in the Chicago Tribune.

-- Awards Watch: The Stinkers quintet won the Youth in Film Award for Best Performance in a Feature Film: Young Ensemble.

-- Castmember Connections: Ashton and Gray went on to voice Otto and Sam, respectively, on Rocket Power. David Dukes, who played a tycoon Brinway tried to impress, previously acted opposite Wong in M. Butterfly.

-- Hey, It's ...!: Spencer Klein (also not a stranger to voice acting on Nickelodeon), as Dukes' son and one of the Stinkers' bullies. Terri Garber as Witz's Donna Reed-looking mother. Jamie Donnelly as the woman who directs the Stinkers to Slappy's exhibit.

-- Hey, It's the Pre-Amazon Era!: Roy's pair of night vision goggles came from The Sharper Image.

-- Different Times: Even though his injuries are small, it's harder to laugh at Spencer Dane Jr. being the victim of an out of control bounce house.

-- "(doused in paint) Spencer Jr. hurt his arm! If it is broken, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes!"

-- Next: Spice World. On deck: Great Expectations.