What's On Tonight: Good Night Sweet Prince of Darkness...

 

Lucifer

Can I share a secret?  Now, don't go spreading this around, but... I don't always watch the Top Pick.  I know, I know...  I've just destroyed whatever faith you had left in humanity that the pandemic hadn't already destroyed.  However, there are occasions when I not only watch the Top Pick but consume it hungrily.  Today's example: Lucifer.  When Season 5B premiered I decided to give the show a chance and I'm glad I did.  It's a gem of a show and this week it launches it's final season.  If you haven't watched it yet, I suggest binging from the beginning (season 3 is a bit of a slog but there are some good episodes in there), but if time is an issue pick it up from the beginning of season 5 (the first Netflix season).

Elsewhere there's a literal fuck ton of shows premiering this week, some of which look pretty good (Kate, Malignant) and some that look pretty bad (The Voyeurs).  There's also a bumper crop of 9/11 specials (they get their own section below) because that's a day we all want to revisit over and over again.  

And that's it.  Work has been extra busy this week (my company switched to Microsoft 365 this week because it's run by a bunch of goddamn sadists) so I'm only posting premieres and streaming because that's all I genuinely care about.  I'm sure there's other things on.  Feel free to seek them out.  

TOP PICK

⭐ Lucifer✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) SERIES FINALE.  'After millennia of being forced to rule Hell and then blamed for centuries for humanity's sins, Lucifer Morningstar decided to move to Los Angeles on Earth in 2011 for a better life. There his life made a turn for the better, finding justice for the innocent and falling in love with Chloe Decker. At the end of the last season, Lucifer succeeded his father as the next God. Now in this final season, we will see where this new development leads Lucifer, his friends and family as the series comes to a close.'

PREMIERES

🎥 The Voyeurs (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) 'A young couple (Sydney Sweeney and Justice Smith) find themselves becoming interested in the sex life of their neighbors across the street (Ben Hardy and Natasha Liu Bordizzo).  What starts as an innocent curiosity turns into an unhealthy obsession, after they discover that one neighbor is cheating.  Temptation and desire cause their lives to become tangled together leading to deadly consequences.'

🔔 LuLaRich (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) LIMITED SERIES.  'LuLaRich is a four-part docuseries that chronicles the unraveling of LuLaRoe.  Known for their buttery soft leggings, the infamous multi-level marketing company went viral promising young mothers a work-from-home salvation.  LuLaRoe's eccentric founders recruited an astonishing army of independent retailers to peddle it's increasingly bizarre and defective clothing products... until it all went wrong.'

🔔 Pretty Hard Cases (IMDb TV, 12:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE.  'Follows Guns and Gangs detective Sam and Drug Squad detective Kelly.  By day, they are heroes in their particular way: skilled, touch, determined, and entertaining, fighting to do good in a broken system.'

🔔 The Art of Vintage (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 'A nine-episode, half-hour series produced by Pie Town Productions. Vintage dealer and designer Katie Saro creates one-of-a-kind spaces for her clients and shares her unique styling and design tips while transforming her own home room by room.'

🔔 Making Modern with Brooke and Brice (Discovery+, 3:01 AM)  SERIES PREMIERE.  'Married duo Brooke and Brice Gilliam have flipped the script on traditional home renovation roles -- with Brooke as the builder and Brice as the designer. As more clients seek out their work, they take a leap of faith to launch a home remodeling business.'

🔔 Shock Doc: The Curse of Lizzie Borden (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 'Paranormal investigator Dave Schrader assembles a team of experts to investigate whether a dark family curse led to one of the most infamous axe murders in US history.'

🔔 Sparkshorts: Twenty Something (Disney+, 3:01 AM) 'Adulting can be hard. Some days you're nailing it, while other days, you're just a stack of kids hiding in a trench coat hoping no one notices. Gia finds herself in this exact scenario the night of her 21st birthday.'

Malignant

💀 Malignant✔️(HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 'Paralyzed by fear from shocking visions, a woman's torment worsens as she discovers her waking dreams are terrifying realities.'

🔔 Metal Shop Masters (Netflix, 3:01 AM) SERIES PREMIERE. 'On this competition show, a group of metal artists torch, cut and weld epic, badass creations from hardened steel. Only one will win a $50,000 prize.'

🎥 Kate✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM)  'Slipped a fatal poison on her final job, a ruthless assassin working in Tokyo has less than 24 hours to find out who ordered the hit and exact revenge.  Starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jun Kunimura and Woody Harrelson.'

🎥 Prey✔️(Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A hiking trip into the wild turns into a desperate bid for survival for five friends on the run from a mysterious shooter.  Starring David Kross, Hanno Koffler and Maria Ehrich.'

🎥 Firedrake: The Silver Dragon (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'When his home is threatened by humans, a young dragon summons the courage to seek a mythical paradise where dragons can live in peace and fly free.  Starring Thomas Brodie-Sangster, Felicity Jones and Freddie Highmore.'

🔔 Pokemon Master Journeys: The Series (Netflix, 3:01 AM)  24th SEASON PREMIERE.  'As Ash battles his way through the World Coronation Series, Goh continues his quest to catch every Pokémon. Together, they're on a journey to adventure!'

🔔 Lacey Musgraves star-crossed (Paramount+, 3:01 AM) 'Golden Hour set the world on fire. What happens next? Join Grammy-Award winning country superstar Kacey Musgraves in star-crossed, the film inspired by the new album.'

🔔 The Smurfs (Nickelodeon, 7:30 PM) SERIES PREMIERE.  'The original series marks the return of the globally renowned characters to television for the first time in nearly 40 years and follows Papa Smurf, Smurfette, Brainy, Hefty, Clumsy and the other inhabitants of Smurf Village on all-new adventures, packed with humor, heart and high-stakes action.'

💀 Bury the Past (LMN, 8:00 PM) 'The past comes back to haunt a woman in hiding who killed her abusive husband in self-defense.'

STREAMING

🎵 The Masked Singer (Japan) TBA

🔔 Mr. Corman (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Many Worlds"

👀 See (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "The Compass"

🔔 Ted Lasso (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "Man City"

🔔 Truth Be Told (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "In Another Life"

Prey

🍴 Family Dinner (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "The Smallwood Family"

🔔 For the Love of Kitchens (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "A Kitchen Designer's Kitchen"

🔔 Home Work (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "Creative Suite, Craft Room Meets Home Office"

🔔 Point of View: A Designer Profile (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "Sean Anderson"

🔔 Restoration Road with Clint Harp (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "Ohio Log Cabin"

🔔 Self-Employed (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "The Business of Trash / Serving Smiles"

🔔 Days of Our Lives: Beyond Salem (Peacock, 3:01 AM) TBA

MAKING SURE YOU NEVER FORGET

🎥 Come From Away (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) 'Filmed live on Broadway, the Tony Award-winning musical tells the remarkable true story of 39 flights grounded in a small Canadian town on September 11, 2001.  As the locals host these "come from aways," they come together and find hope.'

🔔 9/11: The Legacy (History, 7:00 PM) 'More than 72 million children woke up the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, to what seemed like an ordinary Tuesday; in the end, eight lost their lives and more than 3,000 lost their parents.'

🔔 The Race Against Time: The CIA and 9/11 (CBS, 8:00 PM) 'Featuring interviews with top officials and elite operatives inside the CIA who give haunting first-person accounts of their efforts to warn the United States about the potential of a cataclysmic attack orchestrated by Osama bin Laden.'

🔔 Rise and Fall: The World Trade Center (History, 8:00 PM) 'Two dozen interviews with those who helped create and construct the Twin Towers, those who worked in them, and those who ultimately survived their terrible ending on 9/11.'

🔔 Return of the Taliban: A Vice Special Report (Showtime, 8:00 PM) 'Exclusive footage and interviews from the war-torn country and its surrounding areas from both before and after the takeover; a deeper look at the militant group that seized control in 11 days following the U.S. military withdrawal.'

🔔 9/11: One Day in America (NGC, 9:00 PM) 'Following the first firefighters on the scene and their race against time to rescue trapped civilians.'

🔔 Detainee 001 (Showtime, 9:00 PM) 'The complex legal story of John Walker Lindh, a young American who fell under the spell of the Taliban in Afghanistan.'

🔔 20/20 (ABC, 9:01 PM) 'David Muir interviews survivors and family members who lost loved ones in the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and United Flight 93 in Shanksville.'

🔔 20/20 (ABC, 10:01 PM) 'A group of 20-year-olds whose mothers were pregnant with them when their fathers were killed in the 9/11 attacks and their families talk about their lives.'

Kate

Broadcast/Cable/Satellite - RETRO Binge

📺 The Andy Griffith Show (Sundance, 5:45 AM - 1:00 PM); ER (Pop, 6:00 AM - 1:00 PM); The Golden Girls (Hallmark, 8:00 AM - 11:00 AM); The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (VH1, 8:00 AM - 1:00 PM); Roseanne (CMT, 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM); M*A*S*H* (TVLand, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Living Single (TVONE, 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM); Friends (TBS 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 2:00 AM); Gunsmoke (TVLand, 12:00 PM - 4:00 PM); House (Pop, 1:00 PM - 8:00 PM); King of Queens (CMT, 1:00 PM - 4:00 PM); Law and Order (Sundance, 1:00 PM - 2:00 AM); Bones (TNT, 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 8:00 & 8:30 PM); Mom (CMT, 8:00 PM - 1:00 AM); Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Land, 8:00 PM - 11:05 PM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 & 9:30 PM); Coach (Antenna, 11:30 PM) 

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Comic Don Rickles; actor Eli Wallach; author Colleen McCullough; Lou Brock.'

More TV Listings: The Futon Critic; Zap2it

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net; Sysfy.com; hollywoodreporter.com
⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included