What's On Tonight (Friday): Thunder, thunder, thunder, THUNDER FORCE!

 

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TOP PICK

⭐ 🎥  Thunder Force (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'In a world terrorized by supervillains, one woman has developed the process to give superpowers to regular people. But when scientist Emily Stanton (Octavia Spencer) accidentally imbues her estranged best-friend Lydia (Melissa McCarthy) with incredible abilities, the two women must become the first superhero team. Now, it is up to Thunder Force to battle the super-powered Miscreants and save Chicago from the clutches of The King (Bobby Cannavale).'  They have to save Chicago?  Good luck with that. ✔️

HIGHLIGHTS

Premieres

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🔔  Them (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) 'An anthology series that explores terror in America.  The first season, set in the 1950's, centers on a black family who move from North Carolina to an all-white Los Angeles neighborhood.  Their idyllic home becomes ground zero where malevolent forces, next door and otherworldly, threaten to taunt, ravage and destroy them'  Does a black family in the 1950's living in an all-white neighborhood really need "otherworldly" forces to deal with?  Seems like they would have plenty on their plates already.

🔔 Ed Gein: The Real Psycho (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) 'The iconic psychopaths featured in the blockbuster movies “Silence of the Lambs,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Psycho” were not just fictitious villains, they were inspired by a real-life personification of evil – Ed Gein.'  You know what we need more of?  Shows about serial killers.

🔔 Magnolia Table with Joanna Gaines (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) Second season premiere.  I assume this is a series about Joanna Gaines gathering people around the table to discuss the 1999 Paul Thomas Anderson film.  Discovery+ must really be hurting for original content.

🎥  Two Distant Strangers (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'In this Oscar-nominated short film, a man trying to go home to his dog gets stuck in a time loop that forces him to relive a deadly run-in with a cop.'  We are quickly approaching the time loop singularity after which all narratives will be time loop stories.

🎥  Night in Paradise (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Hiding out in Jeju Island following a brutal tragedy, a wronged mobster with a target on his back connects with a woman who has her own demons.'  Should have hidden out on Candy Apple Island.  They have tragedy there too but it's not so brutal.

🎥  Have You Ever Seen Fireflies (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'Rebellious, irreverent wunderkind Gülseren navigates loneliness, love and loss against the current of political turmoil and social change.'  Sounds interesting but then they're attacked by carnivorous fireflies and everything goes to hell.

Streaming

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🔔  Invincible (Amazon Prime, 12:01 AM) "Episode 105" - No episode description but there's only so many ways to write, "Invincible proves to be quite vincible." ✔️

🔔 The Falcon And Winter Soldier (Disney+, 3:01 AM) "Episode 104" - No episode description here either because apparently weekly streaming superhero shows just aren't into that sort of thing.

🔔 For All Mankind (Apple TV+, 12:01 AM) "And Here's to You" - 'Gordo returns to space. Molly faces an upsetting new reality. Aleida confronts her first major hurdle at work.  So superheroes don't bother to release episode descriptions but astronauts do?  I think we know who the real superheroes are.'

🔔 The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers (Disney+, 3:01 AM) "Breakaway" - No episode descriptions for spunky, rag-tag, playing-by-their-own-set-or-rules kids hockey teams either.  What the hell?  Are alternate history space shows the only streaming programs that get pre-air plot synopses?

👽 Paranormal Caught on Camera (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) "Episode 407" - No description here either but I think we can all assume that something is caught on camera that is mistaken for being paranormal.

👽 Ghost Adventures (Discovery+, 3:01 AM) Not even an episode title for this one.  I swear Discovery+ isn't even trying.  Discovery+?  More like DiscoveryMINUS.  BURN.

Broadcast/Cable/Satellite

📺 Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (BBC America, 8:00 AM - 12:00 PM); Ancient Aliens (History, 7:00 AM - 3:00 PM); Hawaii Five-0 (Ion, 10:00 AM - 3:00 AM); Barney Miller (Antenna, 8:00 & 8:30 PM); Mom (CMT, 8:00 PM - 1:00 AM); The Jeffersons (Antenna, 9:00 & 9:30 PM); Coach (Antenna, 11:30 PM) 

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🔔 Spongebob Squarepants (Nickelodeon, 7:00 PM) "Bubble Bass's Tab; Kooky Cooks" - 'Bubble Bass avoids paying his bill at the Krusty Krab, so SpongeBob and Squidward are sent to collect the cash; Mr. Krabs makes Spongebob and Squidward cook a fancy meal for Mrs. Puff, but every dish becomes a dispute.'  Just a reminder that this show is over twenty years old. ✔️

🔔 MacGyver (CBS, 8:00 PM) "Barn Find + Engine Oil + La Punzonatura + Lab Rats + Tachometer" - 'Mac and the team delve into the world of Italian car culture to track down a crime boss; Mac must lean on Desi when he discovers that he's losing the ability to control his hands; Mac and Desi move in together.'  I assume Mac losing control of his hands will prove for an excellent excuse for him to cop a feel of Desi.  I mean, that's what we all would do, right?

🔔 Shark Tank (ABC, 8:00 PM) 'A beauty product that combines luxury and glamour with safety and quality; a product for cutting cheese; a space-saving beauty organizer; a way to remove pet hair from clothes; an update on FitFighter.'  My Shark Tank pitch this week: gasoline derived from snake oil.

🤼‍♂️ WWE's Friday Night Smackdown (Fox, 8:00 PM) Someone named "Friday Night" gets smacked down.

🔔 Gold Rush (Discovery, 8:00) 'When the team is besieged by mishaps, Dave Turin fights to prove the Vault Cut is a risk willing to take. Freddy Dodge and Juan battle Arizona's heat to find potato sized nuggets at the Gold Devil claim.'  The Devil went down to Arizona.  He was lookin' for some gold to claim.  He needed mayo 'cause it was the size of potatoes.  And potato salad was his game.

🔔 RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1, 8:00 PM) "Gettin Lucky" - 'The queens write and record lyrics; the world premiere of RuPaul's new song "Lucky"; choreographer Jamal Sims makes a guest appearance.'  I hope this show gets cancelled so we can finally get that "RuPaul's Death Race 3000" film we've all been clamoring for.

🎭 American Masters (PBS, 9:00 PM) "Oliver Sacks: His Own Life" - The life and work of neurologist and storyteller Oliver Sacks, whose work redefined people's understanding of the brain.'  If you want to watch something to make you understand how much you have wasted your life this should be your top pick.

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🔔 Dateline NBC (NBC, 9:00 PM) 'When a woman is found dead in her SUV, the investigation into her murder reveals a tangled web of sex and lies; interviews about the prominent family's dark secrets.'  Today's Date Line: I'd like to rearrange the alphabet and put U and I together.

🔔 Magnum, PI (CBS, 9:00 PM) "Cry Murder" - 'As Magnum and Higgins work a case to recover valuable stolen truffles, they also must care for a baby left abandoned at the gates of their estate; Kumu tries to locate the infant's mother.'  Magnum and Higgins and a baby?  This is bound to trigger some flashbacks to whatever war this Magnum fought in.

🔔 Penn & Teller: Fool Us (The CW, 9:00 PM) "Magic R App" - 'Featured magicians include Moritz Mueller, Michael Feldman, Magical Bones and Seth Raphael.'  When the next Doctor Strange comes out they need to do a crossover with this show.  If Doc Strange can't fool Penn & teller then he should hand in his Sorcerer Supreme card.

🍴 Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives (Food Network, 9:00 PM) "Takeout: Comin' From All Over the Map" - 'Guy and Hunter Fieri are cooking up recipes sent by Triple-D alums who join them via video chat; on the menu, there are gangster gorditas coming from Phoenix, Korean chicken wings out of Denver, and a steak specialty from a Jewish deli in Houston.'  Not to be confused with a Houish Deli in Jewston, which is just inappropriate.

👽 The UnXplained (History, 9:00 PM) "Mysteries of the Moon" - 'Experts question whether the moon is just a rock floating in space, or whether it holds profound secrets and perhaps even possesses incredible powers.'  This show sounds so painfully stupid I developed an Oxycontin addiction just reading that synopsis.

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🔔 Blue Bloods (CBS, 10:00 PM) "Guardian Angels" - 'Frank takes matters into his own hands to save Gormley's career when complaints against him become public knowledge; Danny and Baez learn to be allies when the transgender community comes under attack.'  No institution has ever been a greater friend to the transgendered than the police.

🥋 BELLATOR MMA 256: BADER VS. MACHIDA 2* (Showtime, 10:00 PM) 'The BELLATOR MMA Light Heavyweight World Grand Prix kicks off with the first Quarterfinal matchup, as heavyweight champ Ryan “Darth” Bader (27-6, 1 NC) begins his quest to claim a second BELLATOR championship when he meets former titleholder Lyoto “The Dragon” Machida (26-10) in a rematch nearly nine years in the making. Plus, former world title challenger Liz “Girl-Rilla” Carmouche (14-7) faces BELLATOR newcomer Vanessa Porto (22-8) in a flyweight bout with title implications. Live from Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville, CT.'  Fun fact: Bader vs. Machida was the title for the never produced follow-up to Ecks vs Sever.

📺 Johnny Carson (Antenna, 10:00 PM) 'Angie Dickinson; Henry Heimlich; Ethel Merman; Richie Barathy.'

🔔 Real Time With Bill Maher (HBO, 10:00 PM) 'Sen. Alex Padilla - Heather McGhee - Reihan Salam.'  

🔔 Wynonna Earp (SyFy, 10:00 PM) "Old Souls" - 'Big feelings and bigger decisions are revealed when a new witch makes herself known in Purgatory.'  I'm assuming that someone will be upset that I didn't make this the top pick but I wanted to make a Thundercats joke in the title and I stand by my decision.  I'll throw in a GIF to show I'm not a complete monster.✔️

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🔔 The First 48: Tracking A Killer (A&E, 10:01 PM) "Taken" - 'With bonus footage; when a young man and his pregnant fiancée are executed after a failed ransom attempt, Atlanta Homicide will stop at nothing to identify the elusive suspect.'  Does anyone ever watch these things and think, "damn, wish there was an extended cut of this episode with bonus footage."  Personally, I'm holding out for them to release the Snyder Cut.

🔔 The Graham Norton Show (BBC America, 11:00 PM) 'Graham trades quips with Octavia Spencer, Melissa McCarthy, David Schwimmer, Nick Mohammed, Frank Skinner, Michelle Visage & Steps.'  What shall be discussed?  Something delightfully ribald, no doubt.

*Sporting Events Are Subject To COVID-Related Postponements.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

📺 Batman Beyond (HBO Max) 'Depicting a teenaged Batman in a futuristic Gotham City under the tutelage of an elderly Bruce Wayne, Batman Beyond is chronologically the final series of the DC Animated Universe and serves as a continuation of both Batman: The Animated Series and The New Batman Adventures.'  I am not ashamed to admit that this was the first thing I watched once I subscribed to HBO Max (and if you want the specific episode: The Call). ✔️

Note: All times are Eastern.

More TV Listings: The Futon Critic; Zap2it

Key Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it; Netflix; Wikipedia; Horrornews.net
⭐: Top Pick
💲: Game show
🎥: Movie
📺: Throwback
✔️: Video/gif/photo included