Thoughts on Commando

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(There's some point about masculinity Arnold seems to be making, but I can't put my finger on it.)

"Can you tell me what this is all about?"
"Yeah, a guy I trusted for years wants me dead."
"That's understandable. I've only known you for five minutes and I want you dead, too."

 

Legend has it that Arnold Schwarzenegger loved playing John Matrix, the hero in Commando, because it was his chance to escape typecasting. "I'm not a caveman. Before the shooting and killing, I'm a normal person." You have to admire a guy who thinks that a retired special forces colonel who goes to any lengths to prevent a Central American revolution and save his kidnapped daughter (Alyssa Milano, proving she can act opposite any meathead with the best of them) is an everyman kind of role.

Even if I hadn't been drunk, I had a fabulous time watching Commando. The plot is deceptively simple: dad is "one gigantic motherfucker" and a total DILF, dad sees through the claim he can only have his girl back if he commits an assassination, dad gets a head start on his opponents (Vernon Wells, Dan Hedaya, Bill Duke and David Patrick Kelly, taken care of in reverse order), dad enlists a wisecracking flight attendant (Rae Dawn Chong) to help him out and dad kicks some ass. In your face, Liam Neeson!

"Your father appears to be cooperating. You will be back with him soon. Won't that be nice?"

"Not as nearly as nice as watching him smash your face in."

Directed by Mark L. Lester, Commando has a screenplay credited to Steven E. de Souza, who shares story credit with Jeph Loeb and Matthew Weisman. The movie was apparently shot in 45 days and rushed through post-production. Paul Attanasio noted obvious dummies during the explosion sequences, but I didn't pay attention to them. I was just thrilled to see a movie that knew how to utilize the thrill of the hero being one step ahead of everyone. Alas, however, he's one step behind the times. In 2020, it'd be inconceivable for Matrix and Cindy's love scene to be left on the cutting room floor.

Chong and Milano have decent if unspectacular chemistry opposite Schwarzenegger. Hedaya, Duke, Kelly and James Olson (as Matrix's superior) fare a little better. But it's Wells who steals the show. He's a hoot as Bennett, going for the gusto in the climactic mano a mano match. I got a kick out of TV Tropes' claim that Commando is considered one of Arnold's most unintentionally homoerotic movies. It does play out a little differently if you consider Wells' excitement to face Matrix in that way.

Despite a blatant sequel hook, Commando was a one-and-done in Schwarzenegger's filmography. It's a shame, as John Matrix and his milieu would probably lend itself to more effortless follow ups than the the Terminatorverse has gotten in the new millennium. Like I said, I was drunk watching Commando (and while writing some of this review). I'm sober enough to say it's a damn good (enough) movie. 

"Leave anything for us?"

"Just bodies."

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Thoughts:
--"You're a funny guy Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."
-- Box Office: Grossing $35.1 million on a $9 million budget (reportedly $3 million over budget), this opened at No. 1 and came in at No. 25 for 1985.
-- Critic's Corner, then: "If Matrix is to live, more clever writers and subtler directors will have to be found, D.J.R. Bruckner wrote in The New York Times. "Even a cinematic comic book needs more artful care than this was given." "(It) starts out fun and ends up dreary -- how long can you watch this stony Austrian take target practice?" Attanasio asked. Paul also observed that Chong, Hedaya, Wells and Kelly didn't cut loose as well as they could have and had words for the big for his britches star. "No one's allowed to steal Arnold's spotlight. ... You know the biggest improbability of all -- Arnold actually taking it on the chin -- is one you'll never see." "(He's) purely a camp stylization of an action hero ... (unlike Stallone,) too hip to add to the national lump in the throat" according to David Denby.

-- Critic's Corner, contemporary: Commando is the perfect distillation of an '80s movie, Pablo L wrote in 2013 at The Dissolve. "With some grit and some kind of vaguely political subtext, an Aryan Superman destroys one-by-one all of his enemies." Pablo also noted how everyone by Bruce Willis got on that band wagon, with Bruce filling a "regular joe" role that he eventually relinquished in the '90s to "play more super-heroic action heroes until he eventually played a superhero in Unbreakable."
-- Awards Watch: Commando scored a Saturn Award nomination for Best Special Effects (losing to Back to the Future) and a (lead actress) Young Artist Awards nomination for Milano, who lost to Laura Jacoby for Rad. The nominees included Elisabeth Harnois for One Magic Christmas.
-- Fanservice Junction: I know why Matrix took off his clothes to reach the island (for speed) and I know why (to give me an extra thrill).

via IMDB

-- Today in Gay Panic: "Why don't they just call him 'Girl George'? It would cut down on all of the confusion, I think." Yeah, that's right, Matrix is making a (homophobic) dad joke. I give it a 4 out of 10.
-- Hey, It's ...!: Bill Paxton. Also, Sharon Wyatt for all the General Hospital fans out there.
-- Of Note: LAX to the Sherman Oaks Galleria is apparently a 29-minute drive. Eighty minutes of John's head start had already passed by the time he and Cindy got there. Heavy traffic?
-- "Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last?" "That's right, Matrix, you did!" "I lied."
-- Next: Jagged Edge. On deck: After Hours, Silver Bullet. Coming soon: Re-Animator, Dreamchild.