What's On Tonight (Thursday): The Blonde Bomber Lands At E!

Via Imgur

It's a night full of famewhores, old and new, some football and yet again, more streaming dumps than you can possibly keep track of, let alone watch; all this and more for Thursday, September 17th.

Top Pick
🔔 The Bradshaw Bunch (E!, 9:00 PM) 'Quarterback and TV broadcast icon Terry Bradshaw shares an intimate look at life in the off-season: as husband, father and *Papi* to the Bradshaw Bunch, Terry helps his family navigate the pitfalls of their extraordinary lives.' Ah, the extraordinary life of having a famous last name and too many fillers/lip injections.

Highlights
🔔 Crime/Drama Channel (Pluto, 24/7) Dedicated to popular episodic crime drama shows of the '80s and '90s. 

🔔 Departure (Peacock, 3:01 AM) NBC's latest attempt to ape Lost with a missing plane drama.

🔔 Dragon's Dogma (Netflix, 3:01 AM) An anime series based on a video game. 

🔔 The Great Pottery Throw Down (HBO Max, 3:01) HBO Max dumps all three seasons of this years-old reality competition from the creators of The Great British Bake Off. 

🔔 The Last Word (Netflix, 3:01 AM) The complete first season of the German series about a professional eulogist. 

🔔 Mo Willems And The Storytime All-Stars Present: Don't Let The Pigeons Do Storytime! (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) The first live-action special from children's book author Mo Willems, formerly of Sesame Street; directed by Bobcat Goldthwait and featuring Yvette Nicole Brown, Anthony Anderson, Greta Lee, Tony Hale, Rachel Dratch, Cameron Esposito and Oscar Nuñez. Filmed at the Kennedy Center.

🔔 Raised By Wolves (HBO Max, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 Residue (Netflix, 3:01 AM) 'A young screenwriter returns to his hometown to write a script based on his childhood and discovers his neighborhood has been gentrified.'

🔔 Star Trek: Lower Decks (CBS All Access, 3:01 AM) 

🔔 🏌️‍♂️ U.S. Open Golf Championship (NBC, 2:00 PM) First round coverage from Winged Foot. Praise be, we are free of Joe Buck covering this thing.

Via Gifer

🔔 ⚾ MLB Baseball (MLB Network, 7:00 PM) Mets/Phillies or Cardinals/Pirates.

🔔 🏀 NBA Basketball (ESPN, 7:00 PM) Game two of the Eastern Conference Finals between the Celtics and Heat.

🔔 Big Brother (CBS, 8:00 PM) 

🍴 Beat Bobby Flay (Food Network, 8:00 PM) A mini-marathon of six encore episodes featuring Jane Krakowski, Tina Fey, Carson Kresssley and Laura Benanti. 

🔔 Buried In The Backyard (Oxygen, 8:00 PM) 'Dead Girls Don't Talk.' Well, do any dead people talk?

The First 48 (A&E, 8:00 PM) Three hours of back-to-back-to-back episodes.

🔔 Homestead Rescue (Discovery, 8:00 PM)

🔔 Keeping Up With The Kardashians (E!, 8:00 PM) The final season of PMK's Koven acting (badly) for the cameras.

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🔔 Life Below Zero (National Geographic, 8:00 PM)

🔔 Mysteries Decoded (The CW, 8:00 PM)

🔔 🏒 NHL Playoffs (NBCSN, 8:00 PM) If needed: Game six between the Lightning and Islanders.

🔔 🏈 Thursday Night Football (NFL Network, 8:20 PM) Bengals at Browns.

🔔 Holy Moley (ABC, 9:00 PM) Just when you thought it was all over, it's time for a clip show.

🔔 Life Below Zero: Next Generation (National Geographic, 9:00 PM)

🔔 Love Island (CBS, 9:00 PM) 

🔔 Real Housewives Of New York City: The Reunion, Part 2  (Bravo, 9:00 PM) There will be more chairs and drinks thrown.

🔔 Celebrity Game Face (E!, 10:00 PM) 

🔔 🍴 Fire Masters (The Cooking Channel, 10:00 PM) 'Mis-Steaks Were Made.' I'm tempted to tune in based on these puns alone.

Via Giphy

🔔 House Hunters (HGTV, 10:00 PM) 'Vying For Vintage In Asheville.'

🔔 Johnny Carson (Antenna TV, 10:00 PM) Dick Cavett and Rebecca Holden.

🔔 Tamar Braxton: Get Ya Life! (WE, 10:00 PM) 'After a breakthrough session with Goli, Tamar struggles to record with producer J White; her relationship with David hits a snag after her past resurfaces; Tamar explodes when the production team makes a suggestion.' Sounds scintillating. 

🔔 House Hunters International (HGTV, 10:30 PM) 

Blast From The Past
🎥 Coal Miner's Daughter (CMT, 8:00 PM) Sissy Spacek's Academy Award-winning turn as Loretta Lynn co-stars Tommy Lee Jones and Beverly D'Angelo; Roger Ebert called it 'warm, entertaining, funny, and centered around that great Sissy Spacek performance.'

Candice Bergen Wins Her First Emmy Award As 'Murphy Brown' For The Pilot Episode 'Respect'
At The 41st Primetime Emmys On September 17th, 1989

Source(s): Zap2It, OnThisDay, Rotten Tomatoes, The Futon Critic, Netflix, Discovery, Wikipedia, Deadline, Roger Ebert, ESPN, HBO Max, Sports Media Watch, The Verge.