Friday, July 3, 2020

What's On Tonight (Saturday): Despite the haters, America celebrates her 244th — and TBH she looks her age

2013 Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular
America! Pledge of Allegiance! Land of the free! Home of the brave! Yankees! Flag! Bald eagles! Apple pie! E pluribus unum! Super size me! All right... after that bleeding red, white, and blue patriot opening, let's get down to business. I wanted to find a new Fourth of July program to go with Top Pick. Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular and A Capitol Fourth have had the honor. So has Independence Day. So I turn to Bloomberg TV (remember when Mike Bloomberg thought he could be president? Lol.) and its Boston Pops celebration. However, this year there isn't a big concert and fireworks spectacular. Instead, it will feature retrospective and new performances created by the Boston Pops and guest artists. Still, yay America!

Elsewhere, Macy's still celebrates America on NBC, A Capitol Fourth continues on PBS, and CNN does its own special, too. You can also celebrate America and the world defeat aliens on AMC or see a neighborhood torn apart by fireworks on ID or soldiers winning the Battle of Midway. For real alternatives, a sorority girl discovers there's more to life than fashion, go behind the scenes at the Bronx Zoo, humans are on display at an alien zoo, James Brown makes it big, visit the dimension of imagination, Iowans fall for a conman, The Rock, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, and Karen Gillan play another game, and the Tet Offensive begins.

We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today we celebrate what's on television for tonight, Saturday, July 4!

STREAMING & EARLY PRIMETIME

Get on Up 🎥 (MoreMax, 6:40 p.m.): A chronicle of James Brown's rise from extreme poverty to become one of the most influential musicians in history. Chadwick Boseman deserved an Oscar nomination for this performance.

Independence Day 🎥 (AMC, 7 p.m.): Lil Mae Whitman is the First Child but doesn't have a job in the administration. Instead, she gets really sad when she loses her mommy. At the audition, Mae said she asked the director if the character means dead when she says mom is "sleeping" or if she brushes it off as actual sleeping. Damn impressive for a seven-year-old. Oh, and there are aliens in this movie. The sequel is on FXM in the afternoon. Don't watch it.

Tour of Duty 📺 (Heroes & Icons, 7 p.m.): Anderson meets with his wife and sees her off after her announcement that she is remarrying. Goldman begins a relationship with Devlin which almost ends as they are both nearly blown up by a VC bomb.

FOR THE RECORD: Accident, Suicide or Murder (Oxygen, 6 p.m.); It's Okay to Not Be Okay (Netflix, 3 a.m.)
Independence Day (via Gizmodo)

🕗 EASTERN / 🕖 CENTRAL

⭐ A Boston Pops Salute to Our Heroes (Bloomberg Television, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. A salute that pays tribute to the frontline workers in many fields and honoring those who have lost their lives during the current health crises, while celebrating our diverse nation's founding values of liberty and justice for all.

A Capitol Fourth 2020 (PBS, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. A concert celebrating America's 244th birthday pays tribute to first responders and essential workers on the front lines of the coronavirus crisis, Black heroes past and present and wounded warriors.

CNN The 4th Across America (CNN, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. "Don Lemon and Dana Bash anchor CNN's special coverage of the Fourth of July."

Dante's Peak 🎥 (Cinemax, 8 p.m.): Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton gotta get out of the way of a waking volcano. And what are volcanoes but Mother Nature's version of fireworks.

Heartland Docs, DVM (Nat Geo Wild, 8 p.m.): The description says "Drs. Ben and Erin Schroeder care for animals in need in rural Nebraska," which is just a general synopsis of the series. The episode is titled "Yappy Birthday!"

Legally Blonde 🎥 (Bravo, 8 p.m.): Fashionable sorority queen Reese Witherspoon is dumped by her boyfriend and decides to follow him to law school. While she is there, she figures out that there is more to her than just looks.

Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular (NBC, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. The annual two-hour special returns. Celebrate America's birthday in New York with music, a performance by National Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman and fireworks with performances by the Black Eyed Peas, The Killers, Lady A, John Legend, Tim McGraw, and Brad Paisley.

Midway 🎥 (HBO, 8 p.m.): HBO celebrates the Fourth of July with this (poorly-received) Roland Emmerich movie about the Battle of Midway as told by the leaders and the sailors who fought it.

The Music Man 🎥 (TCM, 8 p.m.): Some of my fellow Iowans sing and dance as they are conned by a guy who poses as a boys' band leader.✔️

The Zoo (Animal Planet, 8 p.m.): A first-ever, in-depth and behind-the-scenes look at the diverse animals residing at the Bronx Zoo, including the knowledge and diverse skills that are needed to run the world-famous facility.
The Music Man (via Imgur)

🕘 EASTERN / 🕗 CENTRAL

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark 🎥 (Showtime, 9 p.m.): On Halloween 1968, Zoe Margaret Colletti and her two friends meet a mysterious drifter, Michael Garza, and uncover a sinister notebook of stories.

Love & Marriage: Huntsville (OWN, 9 p.m.): LaTisha and Marsau look back at their most unforgettable moments from season one. Then the couple provides exclusive commentary on what really went down surrounding Marsau's vasectomy and Ms. Wanda's visit.

The Twilight Zone 📺 (Decades, 9:30 p.m.): Spend the holiday weekend in another dimension as Decades celebrates America with a weekend in the Twilight Zone. In this classic episode, ventriloquist Cliff Robertson is convinced that his dummy, Willie, is alive and evil. He locks Willie in a trunk and makes plans for a new act with a new dummy. However, he didn't clear those plans with Willie first.✔️

This Weekend in Pop Culture (WOT&Pop Culture, 9:30 p.m.): What pop culture have you consumed lately?
The Twilight Zone, "The Dummy" (via Giphy)

🕙 EASTERN / 🕘 CENTRAL

Fireworks on Fury Lane (Investigation Discovery, 10 p.m.): SPECIAL. When tensions rise between a firefighter and his new next door neighbors, bickering turns to violence on the Fourth of July, leaving multiple people dead and a small town forever changed.

Jumanji: The Next Level 🎥 (Starz, 10 p.m.): The gang is back, but the game has changed. As they return to rescue one of their own, the players will have to brave parts unknown from arid deserts to snowy mountains, to escape the world's most dangerous game.✔️

THE GUEST LIST:
The Johnny Cash Show 📺 (getTV, 10 p.m.): George Jones and Judy Collins (15 Apr 1970)
Jumanji: The Next Level (via Giphy)

🕚 EASTERN / 🕙 CENTRAL

Hill Street Blues 📺 (Heroes & Icons, 11 p.m.): Hill and Renko get down and dirty when they have to pitch in during a sanitation worker’s strike — until an emotional Hill loses control and nearly causes a riot during an infamous drug dealer’s funeral. This show was really reaching for stories at this point.

THE GUEST LIST:
The Johnny Cash Show 📺 (getTV, 11 p.m.): Loretta Lynn, Kris Kristofferson, and Ricky Nelson (29 Apr 1970)

💤💤😴💤💤

Don't Feed the Humans (Syfy, 1:24 a.m.): This short-form animated series, which is about the self-centered and immature Jack upon being transported to an alien zoo exhibit, returns to Syfy's TZGZ lineup. In the premiere episode, which originally premiered online back in 2014, the alien zookeepers want the humans to put on a mating display to bring in more revenue... and most of them aren't happy about it.✔️

Dr. Havoc's Diary (Syfy, 12:43 & 1:30 a.m.): Havoc uses a Brock Mason clone for a hostage negotiation. Later, Ally finds out what it's like to be in her dad's shoes.

Dragon Ball Super (Adult Swim, midnight): RERUNS. Toonami gives its four-hour lineup to Dragon Ball Super with episodes from the "Future" Trunks Saga that it originally aired back in 2018.

Gary and His Demons (Syfy, 12:31 a.m.): When Gary and Hanley head to an island resort to hunt down a demon, Gary is determined to turn it into a vacation despite the fact that trouble lurks everywhere... even in paradise.

Lost in Space 📺 (MeTV, 1 a.m.): After a harp unlocks a passageway to another world, Dr. Smith believes he has ended up in Hell and met the devil. Judy falls for the mysterious man. The show needed to use Judy more.

LATE-NIGHT TV

The Greg Gutfeld Show (Fox News, 10 p.m.): Tom Shillue, Joey Jones, Kat Timpf, and Tyrus

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Note: All times are Eastern.
Key SourcesThe Futon CriticIMDbTV PassportZap2it
⭐: Top pick(s)
📺: Throwback
🎥: Movie
✔️: Video/gif/photo included

Happy watching, everyone!

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