...And God Created Morons And Other Thursday Headlines

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May Is... National Duckling Month

Jesus Christ, Evangelicals Are Truly The Worst [Wonkette]

'RIP Democracy' [The Atlantic]

Evaluating The Oral Arguments In The SCOTUS 'Faithless Elector' Case [NBC News]

What Is 'An App I Won't Be Downloading'? [The Bulwark]

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May Is... Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage Month (Amy Hill)

Bryan Adams Is Very Sorry You Now Know He's A Racist Shithead, But You See... Veganism!!! [Celebitchy]

Just In Time For Memorial Day Weekend, Netflix Will Unload Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich [Pajiba]

RIP The Marriage Of Mary-Kate Olsen And Nicholas Sarkozy [Page Six]

'Madonna's Bubble Butt Is Back' [DListed]

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May Is... National Strawberry Month

Kate Middleton Is My Kind Of Gal [Town & Country]

The Owner Of The Mashpee (Massachusetts) Ice Cream Parlor Has Helped Raise Almost $40,000 For  An Employee Who Quit After Being Harassed By Asshole Customers [Patch]

Crimson Tide Is The Latest Rewatchable [The Ringer Podcast]

'You Preggos Or Not Pennywise?' Is My New Favorite Insult [DListed]

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May Is... National Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month

'Michael Jordan And The Tragedy Of The Bully' [The Nation]

Jaylen Brown Talked To CNN About The Parameters Needed For The NBA To Resume Its Season [Boston]

The Worst Commissioner In Sports Doesn't Want To Cancel The Season [Yahoo! Sports]

CC Sabathia Is Now 'Ripped' [New York Post]

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May Is... National Chocolate Custard Month

Today's Anti-Trumpidote - JOEY