Hey ya, Hi ya, Ho ya...This is What's On for March 27th 2020
Streaming;
As usual Netflix has a bunch of things but they're biggest offering for this weekend and qualifying for Top Pick Status is Season 3 of Ozark--- the multi Emmy nominated Jason Bateman starring drama that's kinda like Breaking Bad but set in the Pacific Northwest (I've never actually seen the show before--that's where it takes place right? No don't tell me, I've been meaning to watch it for a good while now--no time like this weekend since this weekend is pretty damn barren otherwise!) Given that the show won a couple of emmys this past year (It won Best Supporting Actress for Julia Garner for one, and i think Bateman won for like Best Directing of a Drama or something) There's a good chance that it'll be nominated for crap again this year--sooooo OZARK won't you??? (Keep On Ozarking In The Free World???)
Also on Netflix: And i'm just gonna list them by title---
Maska
The Decline
Uncorked
True and the Rainbow Kingdom
Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts
Car Masters-Rust to Riches--2nd season---(What???)
Hulu meanwhile has a new series called Baghdad Central
Apple TV has another episode of Amazing Stories
Diseny + has new episodes of The Clone Wars, and Fairy Tale Weddings.
Broadcast:
8:00
MacGyver (CBS): A double date descends into chaos when Mac and Desi witness a murder in the back of a restaurant; as they work to find the killer, Riley tries to keep everyone's cover in place because her boyfriend is starting to ask some questions about her friends' "day jobs" (Isn't that something you should've already had a cover story for???)
The Blacklist (NBC): Secluded on a private island, Red reunited with an old flame and a ring of thieves in a plot to make millions off of stolen art; plans are quickly derailed however when guests on the island mysteriously start showing up dead. (I'll bet James Spader has a monologue for that! Let me re-phrase that--I hope James Spader gets to deliver a monologue for that!)
Shark Thank (ABC): An Italian cruise business (timely); a fashion line that provides a functional solution to a common problem for babies; a humane pest control solution; a former beauty queen turns one of the biggest issues in farming into a business opportunity. (Nods) (SHARK TANK FEVER--Ba Da Da Daaaa--SHARK TANK FEVER---Ba-Da-Da-Daaaaaaa)
Friday Night Smackdown (FOX): You know the drill---smackdowns are given out, handed down, and yes, passed around. (Much like CoronaVirus actually) (Topical!)
Charmed (The CW): Finally returning to the sked with new episodes--The titular trio (The Charmed Ones as they are sometimes referred to) they must all face their worst fears in order to reclaim the power of the three. (The power of the number three???)
RuPaul's Drag Race (VH1): The contestants are challenged to take part in the longest running drag queen scripted show titled "Gay's Anatomy" (its not a TV show right?); Normani is the guest judge. (nods)
Christmas Town (Hallmark): Your Hallmark Channel Movie of the night is this one where "Lauren leaves everything behind in order to emnark on a new chapter in her life and career" (That doesn't tell you anything about what this movie is about!!!!) Starring Candace Cameron Bure and Tim Rozon.
9:00
Hawaii 5-0 (CBS): The penultimate episode of the series (tears up) finds MacGarrett receiving a posthumous letter from his mom which contains a cypher; Danny is attacked by someone tho who is willing to kill to steal it; and so they must retrieve it; Also 5-0 must help a good Samaritan who's in the crosshairs of some very dangerous people. (Network TV Execs!) (CBS! CBS! CBS!) (Again I'm gonna miss the hell outta this show on a regular basis!)
Dateline (NBC): Brittany Stork's quest to find out more info about her mother's murder leading to a dramatic courtroom scene where the man at the center of the cops' investigation reveals his side of the story. (Wait--side of the story???)
Pandemic--What You Need To Know (ABC): What's there to know exactly other then Stay The Hell Inside!!!!
Dynasty (The CW): Fallon offers to keep an eye on Connor while Liam follows a lead on his baby mama; Dominque and Vanessa put the wheels in motion for a reality show and try to get Culhane to play along. (The episode is titled "Up A Tree") (I totally forgot that on the last episode that aired which was several weeks ago now---that Liam was presented with a son he never knew about) (why yes that old chestnut)
Somewhere South (PBS): New PBS series about food i think??? "The historical ties between hand pies, labor, and migration--a trip to West Virginia includes pepperoni rolls and the most famous hand pie--the empanada. "America As Hand Pie" (I don't know either)
Pawn Stars (History): Rick has the chance to drive a WW2 tank; Vintage toy soldiers march into the shop; Rick and Corey are visited by Haunted memorabilia; and Chum-Lee finds a flamethrower. (Sweet!)
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives (Food): Guy and his son Hunter (Hunter Fieri???) go to an Italian restaurant in Boston that has double portions of its entrees; and then they go to a place just outside town for an eclectic diner that is wowing people with its brand new blue plate specials. (I like blue plate specials!!!0
Kindred Spirits (Travel): Paramount Theater In Asbury Park New Jersey is investigated. (Special guest by a poster of Bruce Springsteen!)
Gold Rush (Discovery): Parker prospects a Fitzgeralds virgin queen (wha??): Dave and his crew risk the claim owner's wrath when they must cut a hole in the fence to access a mine that they are seeking to stake. (But wouldn't it already be owned by the claim owner???)
The Trade (Showtime): Magda and Rossni cross into the US and must figure out how to support themselves; Sochi becomes increasingly worried about her family's safety; Juana a grandmother with 6 kids faces deportation after 20 years in the U.S. (You had a good run!)
Gomer Pyle (MeTV): Gomer gets a tattoo to try and prank Lou Ann, but the prank is on him when it turns out that Lou Ann really really really likes Gomer's new tattoo. (Does it just say Shazam???)
9:30
Green Acres (MeTV): A rival town tries to lure Hooterville residents with promises of lucrative jobs. (How Dare They Try to Give Residents Better Lives!!!!)
10:00
Blue Bloods (CBS): Henry and Danny butt heads over a case of a husband being volatile towards his wife. (So basically is it domestic abuse or not?); Frank ends up getting in the middle of an ongoing argument between the NYPD and the FDNY; and Erin considers a life changing opportunity. (Awww crap, its a rerun from November!)
The Inn at Little Washington--A Delicious Documentary (PBS): Chef Patrick O'Connell-creator of the titular Inn, pursues a 3rd Michelin star as his restaurant celebrates its 40th year in business. (l'chaim!)
Strike Back (Cinemax): Spencer joins Section 20 on the ground to take down Zayef once and for all, when intel leads them back to Manna and Loric Demachi, Section 20 finds itself embroiled in an implacable blood feud. (Implacable!!!!)
Vagrant Queen (Syfy): PREMIERE!!! Brand spanking new Syfy import (from Canada natch!) premieres on the network tonight---"Former queen Elida is cornered by her nemesis, and an old flame comes to her aid while also bringing some rather big news for her" Staring Adriyan Rae, and Tim Rozon (Shouldn't he be on Wynona Earp?!?!?!?) (The title for tonight's first episode is "A Royal Ass Kicking!")
Pawn Stars (History) Looks to be a clip show of various impressive things that they've had in the shop over the years including a 40 year old Bob Dylan record!
Portals To Hell (Travel): Infamous Shanghai Tunnels of Portland Oregon.
11:00
High Maintenance (HBO): When Rocky hears a sneeze thru his apartment wall, he falls down a shame spiral reliving embarrassing moments from his past; AJ fails to make plans for Halloween until a text from an ex friend named Francis soon evolves into a night with Francis' assistant named Cheyenne. (Nice)
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!! I HOPE ITS BETTER THAN THE WEEK'S BEEN?!?!?!?!?
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