What's On Tonight (Wednesday): Girls want a seat at South Park's games table

South Park. "Board Girls" (via Giphy)

Hi! There is some new stuff on TV tonight, but the Top Pick is the animated veteran South Park. This time, some girls come to South Park and want into the gaming club Dice Studz, which doesn't go over well with everyone. Man... season 23. Elsewhere, Jeopardy! continues its Tournament of Champions and country music awards itself. But most proudly, American Horror Story wraps up and I never made it the top pick. It has been over-represented in the top spot through the years, so it gets what it deserved. I'd rather have Cake (and cake) anyway. Why have a litter of preppies when you can have little studmuffins like me, here's what's on television for tonight, Wednesday, November 13!

💻 STREAMING

Castle Rock (Hulu, 3 a.m.): "A familiar face arrives in Castle Rock."

Maradona in Mexico (Netflix, 3 a.m.): A docuseries about soccer great Diego Maradona coming to Culiacán, the heart of the Sinaloa Cartel, to save the local team.

EARLY PRIMETIME

Jeopardy! 💲 (Syndicated, check your local listings): The final round of the semifinals. Who will face Emma (yay!) and James (boo!)? Chat about it with Jay's daily coverage.

FOR THE RECORD: Catch 21 💲 (Game Show Network)

Jeopardy! (via Giphy)

🕗 EASTERN / 🕖 CENTRAL

The 53rd Annual CMA Awards (ABC, 8 p.m.): SPECIAL. Carrie Underwood, Reba McEntire, and Dolly Parton host live from Nashville.

Chicago Med (NBC, 8 p.m.): Maggie gets unsettling news about a new friend and breaks protocol to support him. One of the doctors from the Med family is rushed into emergency surgery after a violent assault. And a social media influencer lets his users vote on medical advice.

Doctor Who 📺 (Retro TV, 8 p.m.): Turlough searches for his home planet with the help of the Doctor and a new companion, Peri.

The Masked Singer (Fox, 8 p.m.): Triumph the Insult Comic Dog guest judges because that's where we are as a society.✔️

Nature (PBS, 8 p.m.): The survival stories of the world's biggest beasts, such as Komodo dragons and giraffes.

Riverdale (The CW, 8 p.m.): As Archie struggles to keep the neighborhood kids away from Dodger's influence, he turns to an unexpected ally for help. Jughead uncovers a mystery surrounding the author of the Baxter Brother's books.

Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): The two-hour tribal merge episode!

FOR THE RECORD: All Elite Wrestling (TNT); The Big Interview with Dan Rather (AXS TV); Black Ink Crew (VH1); Random Acts (BYUtv); The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo); WWE NXT (USA)

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog on Conan (via Giphy)

🕘 EASTERN / 🕗 CENTRAL

Almost Family (Fox, 9 p.m.): The sisters meet a new sibling who helps them secure one of the most exclusive reservations in New York. Edie and Tim discuss starting a family, and Roxy invests her time in training her gymnastics protégé.

Chicago Fire (NBC, 9 p.m.): Severide starts off on the wrong foot at his assignment when, despite orders, he takes over the Office of Fire Investigation. Herrmann wants to discover what caused an apartment fire, and Kidd finds herself burning the candle at both ends.

Family Time (Bounce TV, 9 p.m.): When Tony’s old friend moves into the neighborhood, the Stallworths realize things aren’t exactly as they seem.

Heartland (UPtv, 9 p.m.): First, Lou returns with an idea to attract guests. Later, Amy and Ty treat a doped racehorse.

Nancy Drew (ABC, 9 p.m.): In "The Mystery of Blackwood Lodge," while trying to uncover the long-buried truth between Lucy Sable and Ryan Hudson, Nancy finds herself in the curious position of having to strike a deal with Horseshoe Bay's newest widower.

Nova (PBS, 9 p.m.): We take a trip to Florence, Italy, to explore how Leonardo da Vinci used science, from human dissections to innovative painting techniques, to create his artwork.

The Oval (BET, 9 p.m.): "Richard's fatherly instincts kick in as he fights for his son's safety."

The Preppy Murder (AMC/Sundance, 9 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. No, this new docuseries is not about how A.C. Slater killed Zack Morris. In 1986, just a couple weeks before I was born, the NYPD identifies a dead girl in Central Park as Jennifer Levin. The search for her killer leads to her prep school friend Robert Chambers, who confesses he killed Jennifer Levin accidentally during rough sex.

Vice News Reports (Viceland, 9 p.m.): First, an exploration of juveniles arrested and how those young people are affected and the solutions to help them. Later, a profile of the war on drugs, which has created a generational cycle of incarceration that predominately affects minority communities.

FOR THE RECORD: America Says 💲 (Game Show Network); Bitchin' Rides (Motor Trend); The Challenge (MTV); Engineering Catastrophes (Science); Extinct or Alive (Animal Planet); Forged in Fire (History); Guy's Grocery Games (Food Network); Holmes & Holmes (DIY); Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda (Investigation Discovery); NFL: The Grind (Epix); Property Brothers: Forever Home (HGTV); The Real Housewives of Dallas (Bravo)

🕙 EASTERN / 🕘 CENTRAL

American Horror Story: 1984 (FX, 10 p.m.): FINALE. The description says: "Camp Redwood draws in a lost soul looking for closure." I bailed after two episodes, so I have no idea what that means.✔️

Cake (FXX, 10:30 p.m.): FINALE. "One is wherever one goes."

Chicago P.D. (NBC, 10 p.m.): After injuring herself while pursuing a suspect, Burgess receives a shocking diagnosis. A homicide case turns into a missing persons case, with a sinister twist, and Voight has to decide between justice and the letter of the law.

Crank Yankers (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Making calls tonight are Tiffany Haddish, Roy Wood Jr., and Thomas Lennon.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FXX, 10 p.m.): Trapped inside Paddy's with a suicidal jumper on the roof, the gang wonders if it should intervene.

Life from Above (PBS, 10 p.m.): SERIES FINALE. This above average docuseries wraps up by showing Earth from space and how this fragile planet is being altered... disappearing forests, melting glaciers.

S.W.A.T. (CBS, 10 p.m.): Thieves are on the run with a high-tech thermal lance that can cut through almost anything. Chris confronts an imbalance in her relationship with Kira and Ty.

Sistas (BET, 10 p.m.): Andi's relationship with Gary takes a definitive turn. New information helps shed light on Sabrina's predicament and her fears. Danni extends an olive branch to Zac.

⭐ South Park (Comedy Central, 10 p.m.): The Annual Strong Woman Competition pushes everyone to their limits.

FOR THE RECORD: Back in the Game (CNBC); Deadly Engineering (Science); House Hunters/House Hunters: International (HGTV); Mountain Monsters (Travel Channel); Shattered (Investigation Discovery)

🕚 EASTERN / 🕙 CENTRAL

Complex x Fuse (Fuse, 11 p.m.): Tonight we got NBA players PJ Tucker, Kyle Kuzma, Kemba Walker, Stephen Curry, and Allen Iverson.

Three's Company 📺 (Antenna TV, 11 p.m.): In the two-part series finale, Janet and Phillip get married and Jack and Vicki inevitable decide to settle down together.

FOR THE RECORD: American Mystery (Travel Channel); Cash Cab 💲 (Bravo, 11:30 p.m.); Copwatch America (BET)

American Horror Story: 1984 (via Giphy)

💤💤😴💤💤

Baroness von Sketch Show (IFC, midnight): Skits tonight are summed up by phrases like, "Groundhog Day," "don't move to Hamilton," "a helpful cult," and "only cool babies can come to the party."

Baroness von Sketch Show (via Giphy)

Late-Night Talk & Satire

Conan (TBS, 11 p.m.): Jenny Slate
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central, 11 p.m.): Daniel Kaluuya
The Dick Cavett Show 📺 (Decades, 9 p.m.): Ed O'Neill (19 Jul 1991)
The Dick Cavett Show 📺 (Decades, 9:30 p.m.): John Goodman (4 Mar 1995)
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (TBS, 10:30 p.m.)
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 p.m.): Ray Romano, Don Johnson, Maren Morris, and Zac Brown Band
Johnny Carson 📺 (Antenna TV, 10 p.m.): Charles Grodin, JJ Wall, and Calvin Trillin (9 Nov 1989)
The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 a.m.): Beth Behrs, Sam Claflin, and Grace VanderWaal
Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:37 a.m.): Sebastian Maniscalo and Liz Phair
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 p.m.): Tim Robbins and Nicole Wallace
Lights Out with David Spade (Comedy Central, 10:35 p.m.): Chris Hardwick and Brian Posehn
A Little Late with Lilly Singh (NBC, 1:38 a.m.): John Cena and Bindi Irwin
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 p.m.): Rachel Maddow, Tony Hale, and Dominic Fike
Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen (Bravo, 11 p.m.): Leslie Grossman and Melissa Gorga

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Note: All times are Eastern.

Key Sources: The Futon Critic (outline); Zap2it (descriptions); TV Passport (throwbacks)
⭐: Top pick(s)
💲: Game show
📺: Throwback
🎥: Movie
🎄: Holiday-themed program
✔️: Midlevel video/gif included

Happy watching, everyone!