21 Days of Spooky: Midsommar (Ari Aster, 2019)

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21 Days of Spooky is not about pop culture that sets out to fright you with brain-eating, viscerae-hanging, slash-killing scenes, but with thoughts that linger and persist on your life long after you've watched them. Or are just downright creepy. Tonight's spooky: Ari Aster's Midsommar. Some spoilers ahead.



What's it about?: A group of college students go to a remote Swedish village for a mid-summer festival but, of course, they behave like stupid youngsters in a horror movie and end up meeting grisly fates.

What is there to say about a film that begins with a lovely drawing that straight-up spoils everything that's going to happen, albeit in artsy, confusing form? I could talk about the classic tropes of the genre, or the very artistic fates of most of the group (gotta give mad, Hannibal-level, props to whoever designed the angel in the chicken coop), or pretty much everything Wicker Man-y of the feature. Alas, maybe for someone like me, a person super used to this kind of horror movie, this isn't particularly frightening, and most of these moments were more laughable or "aha!" worthy than anything else.

So let's talk toxicity! Toxicity is scary, and Midsommar has plenty of it. The fear of most people in a relationship is getting stuck in that point where one or both parties want to call it off, and yet nobody does, and everything's stuck in this sort of bland limbo where hate slowly consumes everyone and shit goes sour at the slightest provocation. Well, our main couple has been living in that shithole for a while, exacerbated by Dani (Florence Pugh)'s troubles with mental illness, and Christian (Jack Reynor)'s fear of committing to anything. Let's just say that Christian is the most frightening part of the film.

Nobody wants a Christian in their lives. Hell, not even his friends want him in their lives. As insufferable as the rest of the group is, they actively want him to change, if only by breaking up with Dani, but dude won't let go of that either, and keeps being shitty by later straight-up cribbing the Härga thesis theme from under Josh (William Jackson Harper)'s nose. Nothing that could happen to him in the course of the what feels like 400 hours long movie would be enough punishment for the kind of half-assed human being he is.

I'd argue that the world is as fucked up as it is because it's riddled with Christians. The politician that runs its campaign on universal healthcare and race equality who later balks because he doesn't want to lose the shitty people vote. The "artist" that plagiarizes your work, makes millions off it, and then at best gives you a tenth of what it made in a settlement. The employer that yells at you for not doing your job right but doesn't fire you because no one else will take a shit job for that small of a paycheck. The flouncer who types "I'm leaving this place!" and returns two weeks later as if nothing happened.

The whole crux of the film lies on the relationship of Dani and Christian, proving how toxic for each other and everyone else they happen to be, and even more so once we're presented to Brit couple Simon and Connie, who appear to be decent people. When Simon disappears, Connie is downright concerned, as he'd never leave her behind all alone. In case we're dumb enough not to know that from the get go, we get a line from Dani saying that Christian would absolutely do so. No shit, Sherlock. Knowing that your SO is toxic and still being around said person is you being as toxic as your SO.

And that's the most maddening part of this film, that everyone is so damn slappable. It's a common trope of the genre to make the killable leads awful because in that way it's easier to dispatch them, but it's one thing to write annoying characters and another to write intolerable ones. The community is toxic, the tree-pissing horndog friend is toxic, the obsessive picture-taking overachiever is toxic, the "friend" who plays nice guy only to bring in victims is toxic. You end up not rooting for anything else other than your damn sanity.

But you know what's the scariest part, though? That there's a high chance any of you will feel identified in some way with one of the characters. Maybe not then, but months later you find yourself trudging along with something you hate but you can't commit to let go and you think "oh fuck I'm like Christian from Midsommar". And then is when the true horror creeps in on you.

Tomorrow: Have an existential crisis through the "Presentiment" segment of Dark Tales of Japan.