What's On Tonight (Wednesday): Even without Dick Wolf, there is still Chicago on Wednesday

South Side (via Giphy)

How you doing? Tonight we have the end of a Handmaid-ian finale, the start of some weird looking show on Viceland, and highlighting some Chicago TV. So... Here's what's on television for tonight, Wednesday, August 14!

💻 Streaming

Four Weddings and a Funeral (Hulu, 3 a.m.): Ainsley doubles down on her fight with Craig. Duffy stumbles upon a secret love letter that gives him hope. Kash considers taking the next step with Fatima.

The Handmaid's Tale (Hulu, 3 a.m.): FINALE. Okay. Sure, this season started out really clunky and had some fairly low lows, but the second half has bounced back. That is a hill I am willing to die on. In this finale, June reaches the point of no return on her bold strike against Gilead. The Waterfords attempt to find their way forward in their new lives.

Harlots (Hulu, 3 a.m.): The description says: "After the violent events of the previous day, can Margaret ensure her family’s safety and also protect Jonas’ interests? And as threats escalate, can Lucy and Elizabeth keep Golden Square within their grasp?" That is much more question than description.



FOR THE RECORD: Almost Ready (YouTube)

Early Primetime

Hunter Street (TeenNick, 7:30 p.m.): Anika and Sal realise they've been tricked. Oliver must hide in plain sight at the Hunter House while Jasmyn is forced to cover for him at home, causing chaos all round. CHAOS!

Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In 📺 (Decades, 7 p.m.): William Conrad, Henry Mancini, and Dan and Mary Rowan guest star. This is not a QM production.

🕗 Eastern / 🕖 Central

Alternate Endings: Six New Ways to Die in America (HBO): Six stories of people nearing death and of family members of the recently deceased who have chosen nontraditional end-of-life options and remembrances, from celebrations of life and living wakes, to green burials, extraterrestrial burials and more. This sounds weird.

America's Got Talent (Fox, 8 p.m.): The live results show is going to be... live!

Bulletproof (The CW, 8 p.m.): Nell alerts Pike and Not-Mickey Smith to a notorious wanted criminal, Michael Sharp, who is heading into London.

Doctor Who 📺 (Retro TV, 8 p.m.): In "The Sun Makers," the Doctor (Tom Baker) and Leela (Louise Jameson) and K9 (John Leeson) start a revolution among the humans on Pluto against an alien corporation which has an economic hold over humanity.

MasterChef (Fox, 8 p.m.): The top nine dabble in the art of unconventional plating. Maybe next week they will race in the rain, too.

Taken 🎥 (CMT, 8 p.m.): Because when you think Country Music Television, you obviously think of an action thriller about Liam Neeson searching for his kidnapped daughter. Also, remember when this was a TV series?

FOR THE RECORD: Basketball Wives (VH1); Big Brother (CBS); Catfish: The TV Show (MTV); Married at First Sight (Lifetime, 8:30 p.m.)

Despite living in syndication after its CBS cancellation in 1979, Match Game would return to broadcast TV (briefly) in the early '90s on ABC. It arrived three years after the network's last daytime game show attempt, the short-lived Bargain Hunters, and managed to survive one season. ABC hasn't attempted a daytime game show since.

🕘 Eastern / 🕗 Central

BH90210 (Fox, 9 p.m.): When Fox greenlights a 90210 reboot, Tori and Jennie confront each of their former castmates and are met with more resistance than they had anticipated.

Card Sharks 💲 (ABC, 9 p.m.): Cut the cards thick, or cut them lean. Then, call them right, and wipe us clean. On the SEASON FINALE of Card Sharks.

Card Sharks 📺💲 (Buzzr, 9:30 p.m.): Ace is high, deuce is low. Out my brains I'll blow on this 1978 episode.

Gladiator 🎥 (AMC, 9:35 p.m.): In this mediocre-at-best Academy Award-winning movie, former Roman General Russell Crowe sets out to exact vengeance against the corrupt emperor who murdered his family and sent him into slavery.

Nova: The Planets (PBS, 9 p.m.): In the finale episode of this Nova miniseries, a profile of Uranus and Neptune's unexpected rings, supersonic winds and dozens of moons, and then an up-close view of Pluto before exploring the Kuiper belt.

Queen Sugar (OWN, 9 p.m.): Violet confesses a hard truth to Hollywood, and Micah turns to Ralph Angel for advice about his relationship. Nova helps Charley when she hits a low point... so progress! Also, the community comes together at the Queen Sugar Mill to say enough is enough.

Songland (NBC, 9 p.m.): Undiscovered songwriters pitch original material to Macklemore, who's looking for his next hit. I went to a Macklemore concert some years ago back in the pre-"Thrift Shop" days with Ryan Lewis.

Suits (USA, 9 p.m.): Samantha finds herself caught in the middle of a tricky situation when Mike picks a fight with Harvey. But at least they are well-dressed.

FOR THE RECORD: Action Bronson Watches Ancient Aliens (Viceland); America Says 💲 (Game Show Network); Black Ink Crew (VH1, premiere); Building Giants (Science); Expedition Unknown (Discovery Channel); Forged in Fire (History); Guy's Grocery Games (Food Network); Hypnotize Me (The CW); Man's Greatest Food (Cooking Channel); Property Brothers (HGTV); Restored (DIY); Southern Charm (Bravo, finale); UFOs: The Lost Evidence (Travel Channel, finale); The Wonderland Murders (ID)

🕙 Eastern / 🕘 Central

Black Ink Crew: Compton (VH1, 10 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. This spinoff is about a tattoo shop in Compton. You probably knew that already. Coming this spring to CBS... CSI: Compton.

Danny's House (Viceland, 10 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. This guy named Danny Brown hangs with A$AP Rocky and Ron Funches, and they play extraterrestrial Smash-Or-Pass and talk with a man who claims to have fathered several half-aliens. (*plays X-Files theme*) Later, Ilana Glazer, John Salley, and Danny learn who will save, snitch or have sex with robots during an artificial intelligence apocalypse.

David Makes Man (OWN, 10 p.m.): SERIES PREMIERE. No, this is not about David Oyelowo hatching men from pods. A 14-year-old prodigy's mother relies on him to find a way out of poverty, but he is haunted by the death of his friend. He must choose between the streets that raised him or the higher education that may offer him a way out.

Hogan's Heroes 📺 (Antenna TV, 10:30 p.m.): In "The Rise and Fall of Sergeant Schultz," Hogan is stymied over how to rescue a captured member of the underground until a potential diversion – in the form of an old WWI buddy of Sgt. Schultz.

The InBetween (NBC, 10 p.m.): Tom and Damien investigate the murder of a young schoolteacher, only to discover that her killer is someone very close to home. Cassie must deal with Ed Roven... once and for all. (dun dun DUUUN)

Krypton (Syfy, 10 p.m.): The future of Krypton is at stake as Seg faces off against his enemy, General Zod, with the help of his allies.

Match Game 💲 (ABC, 10 p.m.): FINALE. Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match with Joel McHale, Mayim Bialik, Kal Penn, Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, and Bebe Neuwirth.

⭐ Pearson (USA, 10 p.m.): Keri's past comes back to haunt her. Also, Yoli and Derrick give a CEO the Chicago tour.

Sherman's Showcase (IFC, 10 p.m.): Genuine friendship is a rare commodity in showbiz, especially if when talking about frenemies John Legend and Common.

Snowfall (FX, 10 p.m.): Alton confronts Franklin about his government alliance. Julia helps Teddy meet Rigo's demands.

⭐ South Side (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Officers Turner and Goodnight guard a store that's selling Jordan sneakers. Meanwhile, Simon and Kareme try to recover a laptop that has Kareme's sci-fi novel on it.

Yellowstone (Paramount Network, 10 p.m.): John and Rip seek revenge, and Monica ponders the consequences of her living situation.

Younger (TV Land, 10 p.m.): Millennial deals with the fallout over the Debutante Ball, and Liza is pulled into a media frenzy, led by a publicity-hungry Quinn Tyler. Kelsey and Zane reset. Dammit Kelsey!

FOR THE RECORD: Contact (Discovery Channel); Dark Waters: Murder in the Deep (ID); House Hunters/House Hunters: International (HGTV); I Was Prey (Animal Planet, premiere); Marrying Millions (Lifetime); Monster Ships (Science); The Strongest Man in the World (History, finale)

🕚 Eastern / 🕙 Central

Star Trek: Enterprise 📺 (Heroes & Icons, 11 p.m.): In "Zero Hour," a season finale and series highlight, Archer leads a team to stop the Xindi weapon before it reaches Earth. Meanwhile, Enterprise attempts to destroy a key Sphere, despite deadly interference from the Sphere Builders.

FOR THE RECORD: The Last Cowboy (Paramount Network)

💤💤😴💤💤

Dark Shadows 📺 (Decades, midnight): Josette refuses to leave Barnabas' side, not knowing he's a vampire in need of blood. Gold-digger Suki Forbes arrives in Collinsport, too.

FOR THE RECORD: Big Brother After Dark (Pop, midnight)

Late-Night Talk & Satire

The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central, 11 p.m.): Bill de Blasio and Jada Pinkett Smith
The Dick Cavett Show 📺 (Decades, 9 p.m.): Eliza Kazan (5 Jul 1978)
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (TBS, 10:30 p.m.)
Jimmy Kimmel Live! (ABC, 11:35 p.m.): Jim Gaffigan, Dave Salmoni, and Snoop Dogg
Johnny Carson 📺 (Antenna TV, 10 p.m.): George Carlin and Mark Harmon plus Tonight Show Election Poll (24 Aug 1988)
The Late Late Show with James Corden (CBS, 12:37 a.m.): Anthony Anderson, Jared Harris, Smokey Robinson, and Christian Finnegan
Late Night with Seth Meyers (NBC, 12:37 a.m.): Michael Che, Alison Brie, and Torche
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS, 11:35 p.m.): Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Jillian Bell, and Tori Kelly
Lights Out with David Spade (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.): Chris Franjola, Ron Funches, and Megan Gailey
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 11:34 p.m.): Ice Cube, Kieran Culkin, Alessia Cara, and Juanes
Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen (Bravo, 11 p.m.): Whitney Cummings and Austen Kroll

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Sources: The Futon Critic; Zap2it
⭐: Noted in WOT title and/or gif
💲: Game show
📺: Throwback
🎥: Movie